The Summer travel decree kicked off last week with a 3 day trip to Dallas.
And what a trip from Hell (to Hell?) it was.
First of all, let me be honest. I really didn't want to go to Texas. My attitude was no where near as positive as it usually is. (I chalk that up to exhaustion.) I really was trying hard to be my own personal cheerleader and bring the spirits up.
(FYI, a little Gin really helps with that.)
However, right from the start, it was like the travel gods were against me.
1. Let me set the stage for you. First of all, the weather in the Bay Area was perfect as I left. Perfect "don't leave me" weather. My flight wasn't so early, so I had the morning to prepare---which never happens. Everything was working perfectly.
We get to NM and all hell breaks loose. Apparently there is a storm a brewing in Dallas. Said storm makes it very difficult for planes to land, so what should have been a 30 minute layover in ABQ turns out to be a 3 hour runway adventure. Sure they let us off and on the plane, but for real, it sucked.The flight attendants were grumpy, the passengers were grumpy. The only thing that wasn't grumpy was the old man sitting next to me who I'm pretty sure was on Xanax or some other Benzodiazepines.
After we finally take off, the flight is bumpy, but no worries, we're on our way. The bathrooms stop working halfway through the flight, but whatever---it shouldn't take that long anyways.
Then we land at Love. Turns out, we can't get off the plane because of lighting. Sure, I'm all about safety first, but after an hour of staring at the airport through a tiny airplane window and having no place to pee, I had hit my limit.
A plane trip that should have taken 4 hours took a total of 10.
(As a sidenote, I made a list of things I could have done in 10 hours, this included: Flying to Asia or Europe. Flying RT to NYC or to Seattle 5 times. I could have done 10 kickboxing or yoga classes, Watched almost an entire season of Friends or just about 5 movies.)
2. If that wasn't enough, as I am driving to Denton, I nearly get killed by a semi-truck gone wild. It skided on the crazy wet roads and I just happened to swerve out in time. Thank the goodness.
3. My hotel gets hit by lightning. Literally. Crash Ka boom. The entire first floor is out of service because it fried the circuits and fire alarms. A man on his computer gets shocked. None of the registers work. People can't get checked in.
Oye. This is when I was convinced it was time to go home.
4. I finally get to Oakland. The plane has landed and it feels like all is once again right in the world. All I want to do is get home and sleep. Doesn't sound so hard right?
Wrong.
The Travel Gods throw me an eleventh hour curve ball. I'm on the shuttle (just me and the driver) going to pick up my car. Out of the blue, a man in a white van pulls up, rolls down his window and starts yelling at my driver that he cut him off. They get into a yelling match and I sort of duck in the back of the van, because really, this is Oakland and getting shot at wouldn't be such a surprise.
There just so happens to be a cop car right behind us who proceeds to pull us over and yell through his little cop car loudspeaker.
So I'm sitting on the side of the road, getting questioned by a police officer (who, just to note, was hott.) All I can tell the man is: "I didn't see anything. I want to goooooo home."
He probably could have had me committed.
I finally get to my car----look up at the heavens and say...."Really?!"
For being the worst trip I've had in a long time, thankfully, the tears were kept at bay. Dallas-ageddon 2012 did bring on some good laughs. Which is apparently something I really, really needed.
"Laughter
and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself
prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." ~Kurt
Vonnegut
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